The Best Laid Plans...

So often in our lives, we get caught up in what we want.  Not a bad thing, but I have to continually remind myself that I'm not here for me.  I may have something in mind, or a couple somethings (you know, like I'm giving God a "choice" of plans), but then He brings something ELSE outta nowhere and wows me with how much better it is than what I had planned.
Take Sean, for instance.  I had NO idea that was coming.  I knew I wanted a husband.  I knew I wanted a family.  There was even someone I fancied that followed the Lord, so I thought 'BING - this it it!'  Little did I know that God had something SO much better planned...
It even came down to a brother and sister in Christ talking with me one day over lunch in a park...  They read to me from Samuel, where the Israelites are praying and praying and seeking leadership in a king.  They desired it so much, that when they saw someone who they thought would do, even though this was not the leader God intended for them, they made him king, and suffered for their lack of faith and patience...  They suffered in the sense that this king they appointed was an awful leader, and through this they knew they needed to wait on God.  Finally God was able to put the leader HE had planned into place and the people knew what a good leader was.  They saw what blessings may come if, despite your OWN plan, you wait upon the Lord...  And so I listened to my brother and sister in Christ.  We prayed over my future spouse.  And I waited.  Turns out, this guy that I wanted so badly was NOT the guy for me...  And lo and behold, my heart continually grew for Sean.  He continued to serve and our friendship continued to blossom, at an astounding rate.  I still resisted the thought of Sean, just a little bit.  I really liked him, and looked forward to every outing or opportunity to spend time together.  But, like a stubborn child, I resisted.  But God was patient with *me* and soon it just clicked.  The light flipped on and it was so stinking bright!  And I knew.  THIS was the guy God had set aside for me.  Boy, let me tell you - I am so blessed by Sean...  I have an amazing husband, partner, friend who wants to serve the Lord with me and walk with me always.  He so truly desires to take care of my heart...
God has really been speaking to me about this lately.  Sean and I find ourselves at a crossroads in life...  And here I am saying, "okay God, it can happen this way or that way, and I pray for clarity and guidance so we know which [of these two] way[s] You have in store for us."  And by limiting what I think God's possible response could be, I'm limiting my ability to grow and our ability as a couple to see what amazing things await us...  God may have something COMPLETELY different in store for us...  :)
He's good like that.
I know there is a light at the end of this tunnel...  I know that we'll get through our financial difficulties and be able to breathe fully again and sleep at night.  But it might not happen the way *I* want it to....  Can I handle that?  Absolutely!  God is good...ALL the time!  :)

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

Jeremiah 29:11-13