Hilarity is...

...getting out of the shower to hear the dogs barking so you wrap up in your towel to go see what it is and there is a squirrel trapped on the porch and staring at you like "GET ME OUTTA HERE!" and so you get your camera to take a pic and then the little bugger stops being cute and goes for the trash bag you set outside the door to be taken to the cans on your way to work later and then starts ripping at the bag so you BANG on the windows which only momentarily stops the squirrel but drives the dogs bonkers so you put your snowboots on so that when you open the door a crack to let the dogs out to scare off the squirrel the little bugger doesn't slip in the house and attack your bare feet and so you open the door and the dogs run past the squirrel, scare the little bugger, it screams, they run down the stairs (you think after the squirrel), run into the yard to do their business and then take off down the road and you're trying to get their attention without having to re-open the front door and let the little bugger who's still out there IN and so you go to the sliding glass door in the dining room to yell at the dogs to come back, while in your snazzy towel and snowboots, and the door is locked and the lock is stuck 'cause it's so stinking cold out and you bang on the glass to try to get the dogs' attention as you watch them frolick down the road...without their collars on (that have their ID).  The miracle?  Michael slept through it all...

Edited later to add BIGGER miracle: they came back on their own!!!  Phew.